my sister’s keeper

On Monday, I watched my sister’s keeper.  I’ve personally avoided watching this movie until now and as a Make A Wish volunteer feel I’m a wimp for avoiding it this long.  Or, maybe not.

Cameron Diaz has made a career out of portraying the self-involved, kick-butt heroine you want to hate but have to admire.  She takes that talent to a new level in this movie.  But the story isn’t about her or her daughter Kate, a terminal-cancer-still-alive-miracle.

This movie is about the 11-year-old girl, Anna, who claims an inspired responsibility for her self – which benefits her whole family.  For me, this movie was realistic on many levels, especially the ordinary heroes who seem too nice to be real.  They are very real and more common than the egocentric characters usually portrayed in dramas.

I was also raised in the environment where the-need-of-the-one was part of the routine of the whole family.  It is not easy to turn that caretaker energy onto myself and my needs.  My lesson from this movie is – a resilient child is capable of balancing her needs for her self within her responsibility to others.  I also knew this balance most of my life but events and details in recent years have distracted me.

The other personal insight I had from this movie is the clarity and maturity of young children when they are compassionately exposed to real truths, no matter how nasty.   The eyes of a child can see past the warts and worries of death at the door and honor the wonder of being at the beach.

So my resolution for this New Year 2010 is to honor my needs and happiness first.  There will always be others in need but my greatest benefit to them is to truly become the best I can be – for me.

The same resolution will work for you too!

Enjoy!

“Success is getting what you want.  Happiness is wanting what you get.”  Dale Carnegie

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

hustle & bustle

This holiday season is one of the life-shift ones, for Ed and me.  Our girls are adults with busy lifestyles.  The magic of Santa and presents under our tree is not as appealing to our girls as the spending the day with their special ones, and their own tree.   In my observations of family life, this is a common shift.

As one of the youngest in a big, extended family, I remember the older cousins chomping at the bit at the holiday gatherings.  They were there to do the required visit, but buzzed among themselves about how soon they could escape, and what fun they planned.  I’ve never understood that dreaded requirement because our family was out of town with no choice most years but to do our own thing.

Ed and I will have a quiet Christmas Day, this year, or join one of the parties we’ve been invited to attend.  It’s a poignant shift, after all these years where our home was the only place our girls wanted to be, to celebrate.  As Ed and I shopped for gifts this year, we noticed we felt no pressure or stress.  We’re not overloaded with details and lists.

A few weeks ago, I opened all the boxes and albums of pictures from the past 30 years of family fun, and sorted and divided them into albums as gifts for our girls.  I’m no longer steward of the family history, I’m passing the torch in four directions.

With all the pictures of our life spread before me, I saw how much Ed and I have lived beyond being parents for our four girls.  I’m now completing a new memory book for just the two of us.  It’s all the pictures of events and people that we remember well, but mean nothing to our girls.  There are tons of these pictures!

I loved the hustle and bustle through holiday seasons in the past.  This one is different.  In 2009, Ed completed his Masters Degree and I completed my memoir about my parents.   Both of these goals required years of dedicated focus.  As 2010 dawns, we’ll reshape who we plan to become in accord with our achievements.  There will be new goals.

The hustle and bustle of details and lists is a choice and I’m ready to begin the next stage, the next journey that life presents.

CELEBRATE!

an easy ebook

I just found out one of my friends has posted her book to read on her blog.  It’s been a few years since I read THE MUDLARK but I remember it as an engaging, well written story.  If you are wondering about all this ebook-ereader stuff, here’s a wonderful and easy way to sample reading a story on your computer, in blog format for free.

The Mudlark by Delle Jacobs.

Also check out Delle’s post about Kindle for PC – Great for Bad Eyes if you know anyone who may have issues with reading books, there are a variety of options available now and lots of books to read for a small cost.    The fancy e-readers are not needed.  The applications to read them on your computer are free.

How the next generation will read books is still a subject of great controversy and fear, but I am an advocate for good stories no matter what the format.

Holiday Balance

On Friday night, Ed and I attended the Annual Dinner for his EAA Chapter.  This was a nice sit down dinner with great speakers, fun awards, and tasty though slightly cool food.   I was thrilled to see a lot of people I hadn’t seen since last year and I made new friends.

Saturday afternoon I attended the annual Pot Luck of my romance writers chapter.  There was a wonderful variety of food and lots of chocolate.  It was in a private home and there was laughter and hugs, and a lot of conversations centered on the publishing world and exciting new technologies.

On Sunday afternoon, we left out home and walked next door for a gathering of neighbors on our street.  This also had a wonderful array of treats, lots of chatting, games and laughter.  Of the three parties, I totally recommend the private home venue!

This weekend also made me realize how blessed we are, to have this balance in our lives now.  While I thrived on the excitement and stress of holidays in the past, I’ve totally earned this!  I used to have to remind myself the holidays were about celebrating and sharing.  Now that truly is the focus.

Which is a good thing because the special projects I’m creating for our family this Christmas are taking longer than I expected.  But I’ve got the time and am enjoying the process.

Brrr!

It’s cold in Oregon City!  I used to say I haven’t been cold since we moved to Oregon 12 years ago.  So either it is colder here than it’s been or I’ve finally acclimated.  I even pulled out one of my coats from the past. 

We had frozen pipes yesterday morn, but Ed was able to use the heat gun and plugged the heater tape in, so no real issues, nothing burst and water was soon flowing again in the house.  There’s been a fire in the wood stove and lots of excuses to curl up with a blanket and a book.  Christmas projects are progressing nicely too!  Decorating will soon commence.

If you’re a writer, The Intern & The Rejectionist blogs are awesome for their voices and the inside peak into the world of publishing.

If everything New Age is your thing, I’ve added World Puja to my Sites I Promote.  This is free, an email and password to enter, and you have access to tons of cool talks in the archives.  I’m currently enjoying the “Children of the New Earth” podcasts hosted by Mareen Moss.

Enjoy and keep warm!

Holiday Fun

I pick up the letters deposited in the Macy’s at Clackamas Mall:

“Macy’s invites customers of all ages to deposit their letters to Santa in the Santa Mailbox in every Macy’s store.  For each letter received, Macy’s will donate $1 (up to $1 million nationally) to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.“

So far, I’ve picked up 755 Santa letters from that one mailbox!  Go write your letter to Santa and drop it off soon.   Bring smiles to faces!

The weeks ahead will be full of parties, newsletters, presents, decorating, cooking and fun projects.  I’ll be scattered, full of enthusiasm and treats, and not very grounded.  LOL!

I love posting to this blog.  So YOU tell me – are there topics YOU would you like me to write about on this blog?  Do you like the webbit hole links?  The book or movie reviews?  Do you like that I can be rather random and you never know what you’ll find here?

Apollo 13

My friends at SYNCHRONICITY posted today some interesting stuff about the Apollo 13 mission in April of 1970.

This is a story that everyone should know.  If you’re not familiar with the details, watch the movie.  If you want more information, read the book.

This is a powerful and very specific story.  It is why I feel some of the greatest truths of our times are already written and available to anyone who takes the time to look.  There are no secrets when you go on a journey to find value in living life.  It’s already been written and turned into a screenplay.  And if you watch the movie, and pay attention to the wife character to Tom Hanks heroic portrayal, consider the synchronicites may be less dramatic, but more profound in your own life.

That is when STORY evolves.

13 is not a number to fear, it represents regeneration and change.  There is nothing to fear.

The greatest story is the one we are creating within our own skin.

life

After Thanksgiving Dinner, the game of life came out.

Grandma made sure and got a picture of the boys.

Romance novelists call them, “heroes in training.”

This is Kiernan, the little man that enhances my life, 3 days a week.

The bib says, “Thank heaven for little boys.”

the creative pause

Life happens fast and when a project is complete, taking a pause is very important.  This is also called refilling the well of creativity.  The Friday after Thanksgiving is an awesome time to do so.  Everything was quiet in cyber world, with my family, and everywhere I looked, even on Facebook.   Ed and I hung out with friends and tried a new restaurant.

On Saturday I decided to envision my future, according to some choices and actions I’ve recently taken.  If I succeeded according to those actions, how would I be spending my time and energy?

Visualization is tons of fun and a great way to hold true to goals and dreams.  Except, the more I visualized along the path I perceived, the more I questioned when and why I had created that particular goal.  Then I had to recognize why I wasn’t thrilled with the potential path my future could take.  It was a very interesting exercise.  I had unearthed an unease in my psyche I didn’t know was there.

Since I am odd, with no desire to be even, I don’t know how to worry.  I’ve tried to learn how to worry.  Many consider it a natural state.  I’ve researched worry, and acknowledged I have many reasons to worry.  But I just don’t get it.

Instead, I indulged in research.  Science, history, technology, and anything esoteric are my choices.  I’ll dabble in all kinds of things because as a writer I have an insatiable curiosity.  A wander though my email inbox shows my schizophrenic interests and the variety of topics I enjoy from friends and family.

I analyzed my blog, tried to figure out some stuff, researched creating a whole new look and chose not to do so, but added some stuff, cleaned up other stuff.   The first two chapters of my romance novel are posted on a separate page and the comment section is active so you can tell me what you think.

On Sunday I took the time to play catch-up with a lot of stuff that I’d set aside, for when I had the time.  Which I now did.  Two months worth of newsletters, a stack of magazines, that forever insistent pile of stuff to read.  Soon I was discovering the answer to my unease.  I had gotten caught up in the enthusiasm of others, dreams and goals that mirror my own in many ways, but are different.  I’m a total sucker for enthusiasm, love it.

My answer was in feeling an emotional connection to a different goal, a deeper goal that had always been there, until recently.  A path to success so close to the one I had actively chosen in recent months, that I had not seen the difference, to the real path, until I took a creative pause.

So, of course I made a new choice, took a new action.  Now I have to wait and see what bears fruit.  I have this delicious feeling both will at the same time.  And I’ll be very happy with the choice I make then.  We will see…

The future is yet to be written and I intend to write mine.