Begin a Happy 2012

The dawn of a new year is always exciting to me and I have been savoring all the events that have touched my life in 2011. We grow as individuals through conflict and challenges and I’d say every person I know has grown this year.

Many are thrilled to see the 2011 energy come to a close as change is not always pleasant, but that is why we celebrate clearing the old energy away to embrace the new.

I feel really good about the potentials of the year ahead for myself, my family and my friends. I will also soon have a really nice new bathroom!

My wish to all is A JOYOUS NEW YEAR.

Celebrate with gratitude that we have chosen the privilege of being alive on Mother Earth at this time. May blessings abound in the days ahead.

new memories!

It was our eldest daughter’s first annual hosting of the Christmas Day family gathering. It began with the magic of Santa for her and her boys in her awesome home. This home was a dream come true for her 30th birthday in March of this year. The preparations for dinner began and the garbage disposal choked and died as the potatoes were being peeled.

Everyone was already there when Ed and I arrived with our tower of presents. I unpacked the cheese and crackers, veggies and dips, and set up the cookie tower. The hard-boiled eggs were handed to our chef to be deviled. That’s when I learned the kitchen sink was a goner for the day, which meant the dishwasher was out of commission as well.

The party was in full swing by 2pm and we washed our hands and needed utensils in the bathroom sink. Then we opened presents. Ed and I now have some awesome new pictures of our girls and grandsons to hang on the walls of our home. I was delighted to see the younger men in my life (2 son-in-laws, a potential SIL, and my 9-year-old-grandson) all immediately put on their new, and identical, jackets and were happy to pose for a picture – but there were comments about coordinating future events so they didn’t all show up as jacket twins.

Then it was game time! A card game, table top games, new puzzles, a short jaunt to the park for a basketball game. During this time, snacks were enjoyed, dinner was roasting, and NBA and then NFL games were displayed on the TV. No one was hungry when dinner was served but the glazed ham and slow roasted veggie casseroles were too awesome and flavorful to ignore.

Eventually the plates, cups and utensils were carried upstairs to be washed in a bathroom sink. The pots, cutlery and baking pans were soaked and then scrubbed in a tub. The washing assembly included towels held by toddlers. The men used a new tool set, so recently gifted to one it was totally shiny and all the pieces were in place, to dissect the pipes under the kitchen sink and remove the dead garbage disposal.

The party continued with desserts and a few late arrivals. It is possible there will never be another holiday party with such a disaster but the story of the cesspool sink will live now for greater embellishment in the retelling!

That was our Christmas day in Oregon. I’ve caught tidbits on FaceBook about the celebration at my sister’s home in Ohio that include a broken tree and flames dancing on a hand but I don’t have any details yet aside from there being no lasting injuries.

There is a quote oft repeated that happy families are boring but I don’t buy it. We’ve got as much drama and conflict as dysfunctional families. We just laugh more and open another bottle of wine.

Happy Holidays!

It was January 2003 when I attended my first monthly meeting of the Rose City Romance Writers. Delilah Marvelle was the chapter president and an aspiring author then. Look at her now, and a few of the friends who have blessed my life these past eight years. It was an awesome party!

I am in the front of the chorus at the end and now know to never again wear pink tones as they clash with my enhanced hair color.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

the male view

Failure to Launch and Made of Honor are two romantic comedies written, directed, and produced by men. I recommend them for the entertainment value and especially to authors who want to study the male approach to romance.

It’s fascinating to watch the body language as these 30+ men try to explore emotional issues with buddies while rock climbing, playing basketball, and at sporting events. This attention to competition resonates to the way a man wants to solve problems, or fix things, with the woman in their life. The action distraction is a great example of Mars energy while the women in these movies all communicate with a musical, intellectual and artistic Venus flavor.

Age also has an impact on the male perspective as Nathan Bransford blogged about with his How Art Changes With Us post that he begins with “I recently rewatched the movies “Before Sunrise” and “Before Sunset,” which, if you haven’t seen or heard of them, are rather amazing.”

I have not watched either movie, yet, but Nathan explains that these two movies are the same relationship story set nine years apart. What makes this post a must read (even if you don’t watch the movies) is that Nathan explores how his perspective on the relevance of these two movies has changed in relation to his age and life experiences. He shows that a good story remains unchanged through time, but the reader experience is always unique. It’s a great male perspective about relationship stories. (He’s in his 30′s and exceptionally articulate.)

The example of a male view in my life right now is a bathroom remodel has begun. Ed has some vacation days to use before the end of the year and he’s often viewed long holiday weekends as a good time to begin a home construction project. There were a few years when his projects and my holiday party preparations overlapped and caused concerns that there was sawdust in the wineglasses. But our family gathering has shifted to our daughter’s home this year and the construction mess will be resigned to an upper corner of our house.

Our view of home improvements has shifted as we have tucked years and life experiences under our belts. He enjoys the projects because he likes working with his hands and his work is good. But we are less interested in the improvement to our lifestyle in this house and more focused on the resale benefit someday.

I do enjoy the view as men do physical work or engage in sporting competitions and will watch these two movies again before I return them to the library. I’ve realized that conversations between 30+ men attempting to create a relationship with a woman they desire are fascinating. But when a man is content in his relationship for years, his conversations with his buddies (topics like work, politics, investments, and bodily functions) are not as entertaining.

This means, I’m most interested in man-speak when my view is handsome and athletic 30-year-old men who are wondering how to please a woman, and exploring emotional issues, while flexing well tanned biceps and abs.

brain insights

Mike Perry posted about the brain and I remembered the transparent head kit I got as a gift when I was ten or eleven. While I watched the 20/20 special on Gabby Gifford/Mike Kelly I was pleased at the miraculous leaps and bounds of Gabby’s recovery from having a bullet tear through her brain, and I got emotional at the positive energy of the love story. But I was also impressed that Gabby’s essence/personality/humor/spirit was undamaged, while it is the linear and tactile skills she needs to relearn.

I’ve watched the TED.com video of Jill Bolte Taylor’s Stroke of Insight a few times and two days after the 20/20 show on Gabby, I was in the library and saw Dr. Jill’s book with the same title. The book is lots better than the TED.com talk and I have high expectations now Ron Howard is planning a movie based on the book.  I believe the Gabby Gifford story has exceptional potential and is wonderfully emotional, but Dr. Jill’s story is basic science and explores her revelations in LaLaland during her near death episode.

People often compare computers to the brain and now that computers have wireless connections to The Cloud, where all data is floating in the ether, I like the comparison even more. The left side of the brain is the ego side which develops our individuality and linear skills. The ego protects us with knowledge and fears to stay physical on earth. The right side of our dual core processor brain is our essence side which develops our personality and joys.  This is where we build our self esteem, appreciate our memories, celebrate our accomplishments, feel gratitude, understand humor, and wonder.

Both Jill and Gabby’s examples are about repairing/retraining the left side of our brain function. What makes it a powerful story is that when a skill or goal is achieved there is a celebration. Celebrating is a right brain function as it serves no purpose in the linear achievement of goals. But if either of these women were only able to work on regaining their left brain function without that celebration energy, the stories would be tragic instead of uplifting.

This is why great novels have characters on an emotional journey while also achieving linear goals and facing tragedies. A character arc is defined as the emotional journey from ego to essence which means developing right brain function, while the left brain keeps the character alive, growing and adapting through the action of the plot.

An emotional journey of learning to celebrate fits well with the hero journey plot structure. This can be enhanced to the tone of the story as: learning to celebrate the self, nature, security, children, or learning to celebrate technology, science, or history. Whatever fits with the story, no matter how dark or wacky, that ability to celebrate more freely at the end of the conflict and drama is uplifting for the reader.

This is also the message of both the above stories, both women are inspiring because they truly and freely celebrate their right brain and the essence of who they are, even when the ego/left side is a challenge.

Expendable by Maggie

It’s been ten days since I blogged, I think that’s a record for me. There are draft posts in my cue to review to see if I want to publish them. It’s been a potent mercury retrograde (nostalgia on steroids) with a full-moon-lunar-eclipse to scramble my thoughts, yet I’ve made good progress on my new process of writing a novel.

My Christmas preparations are done and the newlyweds (in June) intend to become homeowners and viewing five houses with them in one afternoon triggered all kinds of memories. I’ve attended holiday parties and craft fairs. I got a Kindle (for $79!) and I’ve been downloading books as I want it to be library of  my friends books so I can carry them all with me.

A few weeks ago, Expendable by Maggie Jaimeson arrived as a prize and I have not been able to do a review of this story as it is so – wow. Intensity! Texture! Dark thriller! Powerful romance! I read it in two days and spent the next two wandering around thinking about it. I don’t choose to read dark thriller/horror stories but I adore Maggie and trusted it was a romance and would deliver a happy ending. It does, and it’s good, but it was a wild journey to get there and that’s what a reader wants.

Except I couldn’t write for two days. And I couldn’t do a review so I read other reviews and realized I read/watch romantic comedy and adventure stories, with the occasional sci-fi or intrigue. I don’t do “Silence of the Lambs” and Expendable had more that flavor. And -drat it – I want to read it again…

To be able to get my thoughts back to my own writing (and life) I grabbed a Terri Reed Tiny Blessings tale that was published by Love Inspired in 2007. This is a classic sweet and cuddly romance where all you can do when you close the back cover is go, aawwhh….

As a reader, I knew from the first page that Expendable was not a book I would choose for entertainment. I don’t like being grabbed by the throat and dragged into a sinister world with PTSD battle flashbacks, or rescuing victimized children from narcissistic scientists.

I’m also not sure how to respond when viewing potential homes with newlyweds who discuss the merits of living on the property during the pending zombie apocalypse. But between books and daughters and holidays and pesky planets, sometimes we just have to go with the flow and be open to anything.

Life is a journey and nothing is written in stone until it is published.

ask and they appear

Last year we had a Macy’s Christmas as I worked there for the season and it was fun and nostalgic to have lots of packages under the tree. At Thanksgiving dinner I asked all my girls for a list so I could do that again. I knew with extra coupons and sales I could get great deals and value for the cash and I have the time to find them. Only one knew what she wanted, three items for her kitchen.

When I dropped Ed off at the airport at noon, I decided to check out the new collection of stores and got such good deals I was able to get all three. Then I made a trip to Costco and saw some gifts to give my grandsons. I decided to wrap them as I wasn’t sure if I’d need more paper or tags. That was fun and quickly done so I went off to the mall without a clue about what was on any of my other daughters lists.

As I stood in the men’s department in Macy’s a nice man asked if he could help me. Oh yeah, I needed help. There are now three men in my life who I adore and I had an idea, with a spark of fun, and needed help to turn that idea into good gifts each man would enjoy.  Their new jackets are identical but different sizes. Then I got a similar style jacket for my oldest grandson so he can be one of the big boys.

Since I was having such success shopping, I stashed the bags in the trunk of my car and returned to the store. Wandering, wondering, about what to get for my other daughters.  The eldest was set, I got everything on her list. So I wandered over to the jewelry area and while I was there, I looked up and daughter #2 appeared. How fun!

Daughter #2 picked out earrings and a necklace she likes, then a sweater set she will wear. We discussed the great deals I’d gotten for daughter #1′s wish list and I showed her the awesome jackets I’d gotten for all the men. We went our separate ways as I shopped for daughter #3. After that I went home and wrapped and tagged with delight and chatted with daughter #4 on the phone as she’s the only one left on my list, what does she want?

In one day I had lots of examples of going forth with an intent for giving and ideas and help appeared. I even had enough wrapping paper and tags.

I love giving gifts. Receiving gifts is my personal challenge. I always love what I receive but giving is so rewarding that receiving gifts requires my gratitude be sincere. For others to enjoy giving gifts like I do, I have to receive to keep that joy rolling forward.

Being a grateful receiver of gifts is not listed on the rules for living. Maybe it should be.