wedding dresses

Theresa & Lyndsay

A picture is worth a thousand words. Not. This picture is books worth of words that spans decades. It’s a saga or two.

These two daughters are huge stories that are integral to the greatest challenges I’ve faced and it’s an honor to be their mom.

Daughter #1 (in black) has two sons and attended her first funeral-for-a-friend the day before this photo. She has not had her own wedding (yet).  The bride-to-be is daughter #4 and attended six funerals-for-a-friend at the age of 16.

As a mom I can label my daughters, #1 was my wild child and #4 was my wounded child. But that is such a disservice to the amazing women they are today. The labels also discredit their daddy.

The father-of-the-bride is going to have an emotional event when he walks his youngest daughter down the aisle on 12-1-12. Apocalyptic events are a minor inconvenience in comparison to when a good daddy walks his daughter down the aisle.

Trash or Treasure

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” This American proverb has spawned the weekend rash of garage sales.

In 2008, a website called “Smart Bitches, Trashy Books” created such a controversy regarding the treasure and tropes of romance novels it caused servers to crash and the term “romancelandia” was coined. It’s a mythical place where happy-endings abound.

Romance Novels have a complicated history that spans centuries. During my speech class in 2008, I presented an overview of the romance industry from the publishers side. This was prior to the Kindle but the digital publishing industry was already established, though tiny.

The financial data astounded the class. But that’s just business. One question I was asked after my speech was, “Why can I fly through a 300 page novel in a few hours, but barely read 3 pages of my textbooks before falling asleep?” My answer was, “They are written in present tense, active voice, and full of action verbs.”  Hint to scholastic writers and teachers…

Romances are used for literacy programs because they are easy reading and engaging stories. Even illiterate construction workers can soon breeze through them and are proud to have read them. Romances are also used for couples therapies and marriage counseling and are stocked at women’s shelters. These are the same places and programs that receive much of the industry dollars as well. Many romance novelists were victims where the first rays of hope, for personal power, came from the pages of trashy romance fiction and the required happy ending.

In the 1980′s, when I was a lonely stay-at-home mom, 300 miles from family, category romances introduced me to couples around the world pursuing happiness, and in the end, together. My epiphany was when I realized none of the characters were “normal” but uniquely ordinary people, in remarkably toned bodies, struggling to create a life worth living. They got distracted from their practical goals by sexual attraction. They endured conflicts to dump past baggage and heal emotional issues. They realized they deserved love and grew up. They could now give and receive love. The end.

Romances are often criticized for being fiction. Truly, the most criticism is that they aren’t real and give women unrealistic expectations of a relationship.

In the 1970′s there was lots of brutality inflicted on the heroines. During the 1980′s the victimization of women started to dissolve and some heroines actually had jobs out of the kitchen. Empowered woman began to emerge in the 1990′s and as a mother of four school age daughters, I was pleased.

Many old-skool romance novelists fought the battle of the “trashy” label in the trenches. These women maintained their dignity in relative silence, while laughing all the way to the bank. However, the new generation of romance readers and writers use the “trashy” mislabel as a battle cry and have whole libraries of high quality novels to promote.

The treasure today is knowing women around the globe who have little access to health care or education, who exist within cultures that promote victimizing and brutalizing women, are reading romances that empower women. These uneducated and victimized women understand the stories are fiction yet are getting that first ray of hope for happiness, equality, and personal power.

As the Chinese proverb says, “women hold up half the sky”.

The Winds of the Dragon

We had some strong and consistent winds roaring through the treetops for two days here in Oregon. I enjoyed these winds as a herald of the Chinese New Year for me in addition to pictures of celebrations in Australia. I do love the web and global connections. Blogsphere is my home because there is space for personalities to bloom and all kinds of content and pictures.

Our newly tiled bathroom was finished on Monday and I spent the day wiping construction dust off the furniture and sending all fabrics through a laundry cycle.  A good house cleaning is recommended with a New Year and the dragon flavor made the chores more fun. I had to wipe down every little thing in our bedroom so lots of silly clutter is also gone.

Many of the blogs I follow have a new look, as does mine. I’ve chatted with tech support on my new domain server and email process. A friend came over with bags of laundry, as her washer died, and I did a year forecast tarot reading for her. I haven’t done one of those for years and it was fun. Tonight, Ed and I tried a new pizza place with friends and it was awesome.

I’m very excited about how the marketing workbook for authors, that I am co-writing, is progressing. It’s wonderful to feel the flow of creativity even with nonfiction. The DVD’s I’ve watched and analyzed from the library have all been romantic comedies (also known as chick flicks). My critique partners helped me realize my story style and voice fits this genre. I’ll also be studying classic Rock Hudson-Doris Day movies as recommended.  This will be another new thing for me because I’ve never taken the time to absorb the classics.  :D

I watched the State of The Union Address and, while politics does not compute in my world view, I felt there were significant potentials being stirred. Or maybe it was a a foretaste of having our planetary magnetics and communication grid disrupted with a massive solar flare today.  There are powers and mysteries in play at all times but it’s not my job to worry about them. Hallelujah!

No matter how dramatic and turbulent my life has been, nor how intimidating I can be, I am defining my life purpose to silly romances. They have transformed my life and as an industry insider I know their potential for literacy and marriage counseling. I’m delighted to know how trashy fiction is aligned with the heroes journey, through ancient mythologies, and connects with cultures around the globe.

It’s also fun when I feel confident on where I placed commas in a sentence.

Punctuation is only a few centuries old in the journey of communication. That’s what I worry about.

On The Right Road

2011 was a turbulent year for many, me too. But I have a dream, an intent, and not even the republican candidate debates or a month of construction noise and dust in my home has deterred me. I’m not Martin Luther King and maybe only romance novelists will benefit from my dream but they are people too.

C. Morgan Kennedy, my marketing business partner, always takes a personal holiday to honor MLK day, and working on our project was her goal. We’re both excited because when a project is close to completion and it is more than envisioned, well, it’s almost orgasmic.

On Monday I was on my way over to her house for what turned into a six hour meeting with a ton of disruptions. The song on the radio was telling me I’m beautiful and I glanced at the clock and saw 11:33. Double digits on the clock are my personal signal to pay attention, and those numbers were on the clock for quite awhile so I was really determined to pay attention.

The message of 11 to me is: illumination and enlightenment of the duality that life is. 33 is a message for me to bring balance to my creativity, communication and compassion. I know these messages so well it was a split second smack to be aware.

Except that road I was driving is one I travel all the time and there’s nothing to see but trees. It’s a busy four lane divided highway. It’s three miles long and there’s a long stretch visible at all times. Lots of cars were on the other side of the divider going in a different direction.

I was all alone on my side. No cars in sight behind me, nothing but the open road before me. “You are beautiful, just the way you are…” crooning in my ears from the radio. 11:33 nice and steady on the clock.

The Year of the Dragon dawns soon.

“The time for new business ventures and projects. Euphoric and unpredictable, this is the year for outlandish schemes and taking risks. Dragon babies are considered lucky.”

Oh yeah, I’m ready for the ride.

New Blog Theme

I’m trying out a new blog theme. After 3 years with theme “Thirteen by Becca Wells” I felt it was time for a change.

What I like about it is all the topics I post about are listed in the banner across the top. I also like the tabs for adding static pages.

The only thing I don’t like is that the link to add comments is at the title of the post instead of at the bottom. How do you like it?

productive day

With two nonfiction projects and two novels in process I’ve had to rearrange my schedule. Today was nonfiction in the morning and fiction in the afternoon. Three hours each and it worked well.

 But the big news of the day is, the bathroom is almost done! A little more grout, an application of sealer in a few days and it’s done. Our son-in-law who’s a welding instructor is stopping by on Thursday morning to design a shower rod.

Here’s a picture of the floor. Ed did some tile work, once, in our home back in NJ twenty years ago. But he sure does good work.  

JAK thru time

I recovered from the flu and was able to attend the dinner party with Jayne Ann Krentz (Amanda Quick & Jane Castle) and 23 of my writing friends. Then we crossed the mall parking lot for her book signing event at Powell’s Books.

Renee - Jane - Marti

Renee and Marti are awesome booksellers and love promoting local authors! So when they host an event, our writers groups shows up.

I met Jayne at the RWA conference in Reno in 2005.  We chatted for almost half an hour while both waiting in a quiet lobby for the next session of workshops. I had recently returned to romancelandia and Jayne is one of the queens in the industry. She also promotes her reputation as an authority on killing and rebuilding your career.

As one of the keynote speakers Jayne revealed she still gets rejected by editors, which she prefers to having readers refuse to buy her books because they were too different than previous ones. That’s how she killed her career more than once and even changing her name didn’t help. However, as history has proved, her previous names and books have found new markets and avid fans who are happy to read all her names.

Since Jayne is a writer, her talks at reader signings are about being a writer. I’ve recapped:

Jayne’s 5 Tips to becoming a better writer:

1. Recognize your own writing voice.  Chose your genre to fit your voice, and it is usually what you love to read. Be aware that you are writing to a specific genre/audience.

2. Know your own core story. The themes remain the same  independent of the fictional landscape. Themes with heroic flavors, like courage and relationships, are more important than character archetypes or time frames. One of her rejected novels was a futuristic on a different planet. But since it was a marriage of convenience story she shifted everything but the setting into a historical saga, that’s how “Amanda Quick” was born.

3. Know your market. Always consider how the reader finds your books. Write to the audience. Bad cops and snarky P.I.’s are okay for an audience in the USA but are not welcome in England.

4. The book proposal must include the genre and read like a back cover blurb. The industry has changed and authors have more options than banging on the gates around the agencies and publishing houses. But a book is still about connection with an audience and if you can’t explain your story, why would a reader care to open the page?

5. The most important advice for aspiring writers: Join a good writers group and become an active participant in writer organizations as it is a business.

Unfortunately, Jayne could only shrug to the question, “How do you get inspired with new story ideas?” Ideas are just there for her.

She writes from 6am until noon everyday and is vocal about it being exhausting work. She always feels the book she just sent off to her editor as being the worst one she’s ever written, this seems to be common among authors but she explained why,

“It’s because we’ve been through the book so many times, in so many ways, for so many months, that it’s not fresh and new to us. But we have to trust that initial excitement for the story we had during the first writing.”

Since I had personal chatting time Jayne when I first returned to romancelandia and now again on my second return… I see this as a good sign. She’s a marker in time, like bookends, for my aspirations to be a romance novelist. She’s excited regarding the changes in the industry since 2005 and the opportunities for authors.

Strangely enough, I found Jayne’s Arcane Series at the library and have stopped searching out other authors and continue to read through the series. I even drafted a blog post and thought I saved it. But a search on her name through my blog and my documents only revealed one mention.

On 2/18/11, I answered the following workshop exercise question:  Name three authors living or dead you would want to have dinner with: Only three?

Jayne Ann Krentz was #1.

The next adventure begins

There is always another adventure available. Throughout 2011 I focused on making the shift from turning my writing hobby into a career focus. I’ve been successful on many levels that take place behind the scenes and never seen by a reader. I’m also human and currently have the flu, which sucks.

So here’s two pictures from my youngest daughters engagement party.

The future Bride kicking it up with her girls.

They make a cute family, don’t they?

Begin with a Bang

2012 resonates to the number 5: Freedom of thought and action, change, variety, thinking outside the box.  Change and variety have certainly sabotaged these first few days of the year but in a good way. I have been able to try out my new writing rituals and routines to see the potential for productivity.

But…

Our little bathroom now has a beautiful tile floor and the toilet and new sink are in place and functional. Yeah! The shower walls are still in process so it’s not picture worthy yet. My sister’s little sheltie McGiver is in the house for a week and he’s a playful and easy distraction. His head is at knee level and he eats less than our cat.

Daughter # 1 is enduring the first week misery of being a non-smoker. Send good thoughts her way! Her sons are proud and supportive.

Daughter # 2 and hubby spent New Year’s Eve in NYC and will fill us in on their adventure when we see them prior to her scheduled four month hibernation as a CPA during tax season.

Daughter # 3 and new hubby asked us to join them today for a house viewing, the best we’ve seen so far in their price range. But they aren’t going to jump too fast as it is a new listing and on Monday she will begin an eighteen month focus on completing her degree. A new home will happen but getting back into the school routine is her primary focus.

Daughter # 4 attended the Lakers-Blazers basketball game last night with her sweetie. They had amazing seats behind the Lakers bench and she wore a Lakers jersey even though she also cheered for the Blazers, our hometown team. Then, before the 2^nd quarter ended – drum roll – her sweetie proposed and she said yes! I’m sure there will be a video to view soon as all the fans in the stadium had access to the moment on the big screen.

Tomorrow I’m off with the bride-to-be, and some of her friends, for the Portland Bridal Show which we had no intention to attend but it is an annual event. This will be my first and I’m hoping to sample cakes while watching the wedding dress fashion parade. An impromptu engagement party is being hosted by the groom’s parents on Sunday and this will be the first party of this type I’ve ever attended. I’m bringing desserts.

I love flurries of change, variety and excitement. All four of my daughters have given me real life experiences, in this first week of the year, of what is called in fiction: the inciting incident, the beginning of a story that can be fraught with drama and conflict but also deliver an enjoyable story with an uplifting ending.

On Wednesday the 11^th, McGiver will return to his happy home with my sister and my calendar has many project deadlines in the weeks and months ahead. The bathroom will be done, I’ll take a shower in it, and the monster tile saw will be removed from my living room.

I’m sure change and variety will continue to flavor the year ahead but the “Freedom of thought and action” will be stronger. I love thinking “outside the box” because I know the box, and love the box.

A box has four sides as I have four daughters. Each faces a different direction but are part of a complete whole. Add a top and a bottom to a box and it becomes a cube. Ed is the top of the box, as the “head” of our family. I’m the bottom, or foundation, as the “heart” of our family.

Now, all four sides of our box are morphing into cubes of their own.

That’s how family trees are grown.

Catch Time

It’s time for my first post of 2012! Wee Hee!  The message of TIME has surrounded me for weeks now – so it’s time for….. (fill in the blank). Time is the 4th dimension of our physical existence called a “lifetime.”

The title of this post is to recommend Time Catcher by Rob MacGregor. FABULOUS STORY! Loved it, will reread.

An ancient Hopi prophecy…the end of the Fourth World … a mysterious ruin…and a window between worlds. 

Mystery, mayhem, magic, time travel, a touch of romance and a fascinating and thought provoking ending. I learned at the end that there are 3 previous Will Lanza Mysteries: Prophecy Rock, Hawk Moon, and Double Heart.

Here’s a great piece of advice for the new year, coming to you from Seth Godin:

The artificiality of time

Until the transcontinental railroad, there were no time zones. Each village kept its own time, based on its own steeple and its own high noon. And why not? There was no good reason to go through the pain of coordinating the clocks.

Factory work forced us all to know exactly what time it was. The shift couldn’t start until the foreman and the workers were ready to go. Synchronicity paid big dividends, so we embraced it.  (… more on his blog…)

Celebrate New Year’s when you want to, and as often as you choose. They’re your resolutions, not ours.

With the shift from 2011 to 2012 have come a plethora of comments from friends, family, bloggers and writers regarding how glad they are 2011 is done. It was a wild ride for many who feel they are in a better and brighter place. For others it was a turbulent year but they are hopeful for lighter days ahead.

For some reason the lyrics, “Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away” is cycling through my head now. If we can catch falling stars, we certainly can catch time too.

Feel free to share anything about time in the comments.