The American President-the movie

Tonight I’m going to watch one of my favorite movies.

The American President is what’s called an “Old Skool Contemporary” romance. According to a few agents and editors, this style of romance novel is in high demand. The characters are not loaded with issues, they don’t sparkle in the moonlight, (or is it sunlight that makes vampires sparkle?) and none of the characters are “packing heat” or “kicking butt.”

The conflict to the romance is primary to the character traits and career choices, not their species or their contact with sinister villains. The external events surrounding their romance are big enough to keep them apart, instead of some misunderstanding or secret. Their past (back story) defines who they are and what they bring to the potential of the partnership. The ending comes full circle to the initial cute-meet and first challenge faced.

The setting (the political arena)  is integral to the story and the glamour factor ups the world building.

I’m watching this personal favorite of mine tonight because this weekend I’ll be attending a local conference and Larry Brooks – creator of StoryFix is the primary presenter. He’s awesome and I recommend his Story Engineering for all aspiring writers as the how-to-write-book to read first.

After this conference it will only be a few more weeks and Mercury and Mars will move direct and that will feel great. I’ve been very productive under this restrictive energy. I finished one novel and sent it off to a beta reader. My current WIP is about half drafted, and both of these novels are “Old Skool Contemporaries.”  Our Author Marketing 101 workbook is almost “fabulous” and needs to be available for a conference in May as Morgan and I are doing a 90 minute workshop.

If you’re looking for entertainment to take advantage of the required pause from the two retrograde “M” planets, click the above Books & Movies tab and see all the ones I recommend. Have a great weekend!

Down with Love – the movie

 This could be one of my favorite movies. It’s delightfully madcap, exceptionally over-acted, and loaded with tongue twisting dialogue. The sets scream 1962 New York City fantasy success and the split screen sections need at least two or three viewings.

I really wish there was such a book and I could read it.

I adore dark chocolate but will never say it is better than sex, or a good replacement for sex. Um, no. It’s a joke.

However, I personally have issues with Catcher Block’s (he’s the romantic hero in this movie) objective in his exposé when he becomes a “new man” because of his love for the author, Barbara Novak. Catcher states he could win the Nobel Peace Prize for finally bringing an end to the battle of the sexes. He deserved the punch in the nose he got following that statement.

The battle of the sexes is the only battle I want to observe.

Chocolate could be the key to world peace but it should never be used to dilute or replace the battle of the sexes. I think (no facts were researched) that chocolate was created by Spanish monks who were not renown for their focus on fun and frivolity.

Disclaimer: the “love” referred to in this movie in no way represents “love” as I perceive it either personally or in my previous post.

Relationship basics

Created by an intuitive artist of me and my youngest daughter

A good relationship is unique to each individual but it always boils down to affection and appreciation.

Physical affection requires the actions of touch; hugs, caresses, kisses.  Physical affection can only be shared when two or more are in the same space and time. As noted by medical and behavioral specialists, physical affection is a primary need for humans at birth and death, and as daily nourishment for the body and soul for every individual in life.

Verbal affection is the foundation of self esteem and is shared through compliments and concerns, and includes all those social phrases like; have a nice day, please & thank you, you look great, good job. Verbal affection can be shared through all manner of connection tools from phones, to social media, and greeting cards. However, there is more verbal affection in the words, “dinner is ready,” than in an essay of text. This is the challenge and appeal of electronic connections, even when it feels good, because it lacks the physical nourishment of touch.

Appreciation takes a relationship to the next level of affection because it includes love, respect, awareness, and gratitude.

Awareness is the first step for appreciation. Awareness requires eye contact and listening. The eyes are windows to the soul and it takes courage to let the soul shine. Awareness requires being engaged in connection with individuals, and nature. The challenge is many feel connected through media feeds and have never shook hands with a neighbor, or truly smiled at a bank teller. Once we are aware of our own and others vulnerabilities and talents, we can appreciate the daily need to be affectionate verbally and physically.

Respect is next because it requires awareness of others, and the inalienable right of all individuals to be different. Respect is where appreciation shifts beyond nature as it is more active in human relationships. I can be physically affectionate with plants and animals but what is missing is the verbal and interactive affection that is required for respect between individuals in a relationship.

Love is where the words and deeds of awareness and respect are amplified. Love nurtures us through affection. A sexual relationship can only become nourishing intimacy, for the body and soul, when love is in the energy of both partners. Every relationship is the foundation and manifestation of love.

Gratitude is appreciation in action, displayed through affection. Gratitude is what turns a relationship into a complete and solid sphere around the soul.

This exercise in breaking relationships into basic terms is for me to dissect what will be the black moment, and epiphany, for fictional characters in a romance novel. But what it shows is that, to achieve a true happily ever after in life, the primary relationship that we should be most grateful for is the one we have as an individual with our own soul.

How we shower ourselves with physical and verbal affection is our choice. When we treat ourselves with appreciation; awareness, respect, love, and gratitude, it will be the way we live with others.

Be Vulnerable

This TED.com blog title caught my attention this evening:

Being vulnerable about vulnerability.

This is my first introduction to Brené Brown and I read the interview first, watched the latest video, then watched the first one from last year.  These are entertaining 20 minute talks that I want to share. So here’s how her story progressed, in the correct sequence:

2010: The power of vulnerability

… there’s not a (TED) talk I’ve seen where people really touch lives and made a huge difference where they were not excruciatingly vulnerable.

(Speakers admit to numerous failures prior to success and will focus on the struggle as being necessary for the achievement.)

2011: Listening to shame

… what I realized over the last year is, if you don’t understand shame and you don’t have some shame resilience and awareness, then you cannot be vulnerable.

2012: Q & A with Brene Brown (the interview that caught my attention)

(Here’s just one poignant quote relating to the practice of how we are judged from grades in school to job performance and more. )

Are people engaged? Are people engaged parents, engaged employees, engaged leaders?

And I don’t think engagement can happen without vulnerability, and I definitely don’t think it can happen in the midst of shame. If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.

Brené Brown has received a lot of criticism since her first talk but it’s helped her increase her own understanding of her topic. As she stated in the first video in 2010 one way we numb our vulnerability is “we make the uncertain CERTAIN….I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up.”

Earlier today I read How To Handle A Scathing Review by Kristina McMorris.  The internet and social media is a wonderful thing but it has also empowered the hateful, who are certain they are right and the author should shut up. This encourages others to step forth with tips and tools for improving the experience of public connections.

While this post may seem like a downer of negativity, I feel it’s a very positive example of change. Science is now measuring how courage and vulnerability are emotional tools for becoming whole hearted, and this is the birth place of joy, love, creativity, and innovation. By understanding shame we can develop resilience and tools to dilute the grasp for power from hateful trolls who are certain of being right.

Each generation is hard wired for struggle and is wholly worthy of love, joy, and connection. As humans have evolved through history we have always created the tools we need to help us on that journey.

Wonderful walk in the woods

Okay, in this story rabid environmentalists succeed in kidnapping the Secretary of the Interior from a hotel bathroom with no bullets in their guns. What’s not to love about that premise?

The delight is, the book is better than the premise. The compelling story is framed within thirty days of extreme camping and communing with nature. It’s #1 on Amazon’s Conservation list, but I wouldn’t have read it if I didn’t know the author because my reading time is limited. This book was worth every minute of my time because – Pat Lichen not only wrote a good story, there were also many times I was delighted by great writing. Then, she delivered a great ending.

This is not a secret – a good story needs a great ending – it’s a primary aspect of story telling that’s often ignored or forgotten. A story is a promise and the promise is – the ending will be good. It doesn’t have to be happy or fluffy but it has to be GOOD in relation to the story. The ending also has to resonate as appropriate according to the audience who will choose to read the story.

I love the Pacific Northwest and the magic it holds, I’ve even hugged a few trees. But I relate more to The Lorax and this is the type of story I will only enter as a fictional experience within the pages of a book. If anyone hands me a shovel and demonstrates the best way to shit in the woods, they will get that shovel upside the head.

But I did enter this fictional world of rabid environmentalists in contact with one of the elite political leaders of our country. And I turned every page and read every word. And when I reached The End, I not only felt satisfied by the story but enriched by the experience of being a voyeur to the action on the page.

That’s how a story delivers on the promise made in the opening sentence.

Dirty Dancing

I’ve continued to get movies from the library to watch as the concentrated basketball season has been the focus of the after dinner hours in our home. This is so clique, where he goes off to his man cave with the remote and big screen TV. I slip into my office, put in a DVD and place ear buds in my ears.

The collection of movies for this week I snatched in a hurry because I only had 20 minutes before the library closed for the night. I’ve watched a lot of movies that I was happy to be able to fast forward to the end. Others I tried way too hard to figure out the intent of the movie and why the audience would choose that experience. I was done with exploring and when I set my selections on the library counter to check out, I said, “I only chose movies I know I like this time.”

But I was surprised when the librarian said, “Oh yeah, I’ve done that when I needed to heal after those years of taking care of my ailing parents.” That’s a loaded sentence for a casual verbal exchange between two people who don’t know each other’s name, and my reply was, “Yeah, thank God for Romantic Comedies.” Then we shared a chuckle and our encounter was over. But I don’t overlook random loaded sentences and the message of this one is obvious because when it’s time to heal from caring for aging parents it means they are dead.

I also look past the obvious and maybe the message of that sentence was – that I need to heal because I didn’t get to care for my ailing parents as I was on the other side of the continent. They had exceptional care from my brother and sister, but not me. Or – maybe the message was that it’s time to heal from trauma’s in my life. The past twelve years have been intense for me on many levels.

As I watched Dirty Dancing tonight I felt like I was in a time warp. I was experiencing a tiny slice of a world that existed in 1963, when I was four-years-old, as that world was ending. But it was revisited in 1987 when this low-budget film began it’s journey as a cult classic. By then I had been to the Catskills.

I’d also watched Jennifer Grey on the 2010 season of Dancing with the Stars and have the Patrick Swazye autobiography, after his death, on my bookshelf. This book winks at me but I still haven’t read it. That may be because I’m still in my personal healing cycle after years of trauma and joys.

Even if we become a cliche, it’s possible we are participants in a future cult classic.

Cat Scratch but no Fever

Saturday morning began with the news of massive blood spurting from my grandson’s face and head. The 9-month-old kitten was spooked at a 12-year-old-dog walking through her home to be put into the garage. And my 9-year-old grandson wanted to calm the cat. He now has a four inch scar across his cheek, another on his left eyelid, one on his forehead and puncture wounds around his scalp. Fortunately, this in not the type of issue where the Urgent Care staff requests you take a number, or take a seat in the waiting room. Blood spurting from multiple points on a child’s head is considered an emergency and requires immediate attention from the medical staff.

Animals will always be true to their nature, it’s adding the human expectation, and a child’s intent, that is a potential for disaster. I wonder about the emotional experience of a young boy who savored the feeling of a cat snuggled in his lap and against his cheek becoming, in a moment, a feral and destructive force that can leave scars for a lifetime.

The follow-up doctor visit was today and all wounds are healing, no infections. Yeah! My grandson will have a scar or two and a story to tell about it. But the cat will be in a new home. It’s a good cat but needs a home where mothers aren’t concerned  about the potential of their sons blood splurting from facial and head wounds all over the kitchen. This is a one time experience.

I believe once the cat has a new home the next pet of choice is a turtle.

Arcs and Stars

Created by Nancy

I’ve attended many writer workshops on characterization that led me to using the basics of astrology to create my characters in my stories.  I recently developed my own workshop on this, and just sent off an article about it to a trade magazine. I began my new project using my new process. But for reasons known only to the universe, I chose to stop the new project for a few weeks and finish an old one that I had pulled off the shelf last year to work through with my new critique partners.  The pictured inspiration booklet was made for me by one of these amazing women.

As I reviewed the manuscript this week I could see it was pretty good but missing strong conflict. There were lots of little and delightful conflicts. The Scorpio hero has some powerful and deep baggage but the Gemini heroine was too good at tap dancing around her issues. I finally realized that this story was created before I figured out my new character arc process I had only written up two weeks ago.

At the bellydance/Zumba class I attend with Jessa Slade, I told her about this and as she also uses astrology to create her characters she nodded and stated, “Physician, heal thyself.”

I already had lunch plans on Thursday with my sister Sherri, the astrologer. I showed her the graphs I’d made and she was impressed. We spent the next few hours, while shopping and dining, discussing how bad things should be for these characters. It was awesome to realize all the potentials are already woven through the plot, setting, supporting cast, and twist points. All I needed was someone able to read the charts I’d created to point out the deep conflicts.

So here’s a snapshot of my process:

Michael Hauge describes the character arc as the emotional journey from identity to essence. In astrology, the essence is the Sun Sign, the identity is the Rising Sign, and the emotions are the flavor of the Moon.

All the zodiac signs relate to one of four basic elements – earth, air, fire, and water. So I create my protagonist using a separate element to represent their Identity, Essence and Emotions. This means there is a missing element. That element will be represented with the antagonist (I write romance and both the heroine and hero are protagonist-antagonist to each other) and only by embracing this missing element is there potential for a happily-ever-after with all four elements of mother earth present and in balance at the end.

There’s more to my process but it’s an hour long workshop dealing with the age of the wound and the protective onion layer to be peeled away. But today, for me, knowing the process and putting it into practice was my lesson, and it was awesome.