Technology is a tool or a toy – no matter the gadget

A recent news article stated the I-pad tablet is Only Three Years Old, then the author revealed how the tablet technology has changed his daily routines and the way he interacts with his young children because of all the cool apps and these new technology gadgets. I had to dig deeper to make sure it wasn’t a paid advertisement.

Electronic gadgets have exploded in our daily routines. Stories that built the tension on the technology of the time (pay phone booths) are not connecting with a new audience who have smart phones in their pockets and an entire language of acronyms to use in their text.

The social skill of conversation (the Art of Informal Remarks - from the movie Larry Crowne) is now something to learn in college courses, and there are scientific studies regarding which is more dangerous when driving, texting or daydreaming. (Ed is guilty of one, I’m prone to do the other!)

I’m fascinated to have personally experienced when MA BELL was wonderful and BIG BROTHER was a terror.  (I was busy with two toddlers during 1984 and missed that novelistic horror!)

With Weather Apps and Road Maps there’s no longer a reason to get lost or stress over whether the planned picnic or ball game will be rained out. But that also means you’re missing out on wrong turns that could become grand adventures.

There’s an app to know how many registered sex offenders live near grade schools, and one for the wait time for all local restaurants. Both of these apps were discussed as most of my family gathered for a Little League Baseball game.  Yet it was that “Wait Time” that made the difference when the game was “Rained Out” in the 2nd inning. No App was used but the choice was made for a trip to the grocery store and a backyard barbecue for a family celebration. We’d all blocked out hours on our schedule that day – and we were all together with time to stay together. My birthday was the reason to turn a rained out event into a family celebration.

Ed gifted me with a bunch of Really Cool Apps on a touch screen tablet. He really liked the App that featured a variety of Fart Sounds.  I made him delete it. I know this Fart thing appeals to my husband, son-in-laws, and grandsons, but it’s my new & cool technology tool/toy and I’m all about romances that include cute-meets, women with gumption, men with purpose, and fun fuzzies with The End.

And there wasn’t one App used during that family barbecue. We all interacted the way we always have, with conversation and lots of laughter. Our food was cooked on a grill – with fire. We used knives and utensils to prepare the food, and forks to eat the Boston Cream Cake. We are a technology savvy family and that means we turn it off when its time to eat and enjoy being a family.

Technology has been a benefit to how we do our jobs, and a bonus for how stay in contact with each other and friends-and-family around the globe. But for us it is eye contact and hugs that really matter, and that’s how we interact. No App will ever replace that.

Where did all these tasks come from?

I used to be the queen of multitasking and I was so good at it that in my 30′s I was both on-top-of having four girls in school and also a significant player in running a national company. This was only fifteen years ago so I often wonder, “What happened?”

I actually made a list this past Sunday, of significant events each year since 1996, that have transformed my daily routines. They are awesome life experiences for a writer, rich with research of every emotion from misery to euphoria.

A friend recently reminded me that the theme I chose for this blog is “Practical Spirituality in Life and Writing Story.” Well, this month there’s been little I’d call practical, and even less I’d consider spiritual. These past weeks have been as turbulent as the spring weather. Sunny and calm one day, wild and chill the next.

Don’t misunderstand, I’ve been having tons of fun and numerous occurrences had a magical flavor and many others are peppered with wild coincidences. But I’ve been an observer of Social Media for years and suddenly it exploded in my email accounts, I have four. I’m also a contributor to four (or more?) blogs, and scan/read about 50 or more every day.  How did this happen? (I know the answer – by my choices!)

According to a favorite astrologer this is a time of:

“Oxymoron and Paradox”

After all, the process of Growing in Consciousness (literally by clearer perception of Unconscious factors) involves learning new ways to consider Material “Reality.”

I don’t recommend following the link and reading the post unless you want to slide into an alternate universe where every word has a new definition. Suffice to say, the image J. Buss included is the bunny trying to hide. From my diverse reading, my opinion is – we’re in a trifecta of energies relating to the 26,000 year cycle of the Milky Way traveling through a 30+ year cycle while crossing the galactic plane. But I’m willing to consider other opinions.

The mermaid is much more soothing image so every chance I get I dive deep into my favorite escape, the delightful frippery of Elizabeth Boyle’s Rakes & Ladies of London during the early 1800′s. She’s one of the few authors I never analyze. I enjoy the journey of the story. Trish J. MacGregor‘s metaphysical horror stories have the same affect on me and yet these two authors, and their stories and styles, are poles apart!

Here’s the practical reality of my life, I have a lousy bed. It’s 15 years old and if I sleep on it at night when I wake in the morning every joint from my neck to my ankles – hurts. I also hate shopping because it’s a task with too many options and no escape.  But I sleep really well on the couch in our living room, and when I wake I am happy to face the tasks of the day.

So what’s your practical reality? Do you have a comfy couch?

On the water

I love being near, on, or in, water and many of my childhood summer events took place near lakes or pools. I was always early for swimming lessons and chose to handle the oars for rowing events on small inland lakes.

During nine of the years we lived in New Jersey, it was across the street from the swimming beach on Lake Lackawanna and we had a variety of water toys, including a 16′ power boat for skiing and tubing. This stayed with the house when we moved to Oregon. With larger lakes and rivers in the Pacific NW, we got a 26′ cabin cruiser for water adventures. This was great for seven years but the girls got older, and gas prices started to rise, so we said good-bye to the marina environment. Anyhow, by then I’d discovered kayaks.

Exploring those shallow and quiet spots where motor boats can’t go.

We had walked from our daughter’s downtown apartment to watch the 4th of July fireworks from one of the bridges over the Willamette River. Everyone else was watching the sky but I was mesmerized by these banana-shaped-one-man-canoes-and-a-single-paddle floating on the water for the firework show. From then on, no other watercraft had much appeal for me.

I signed Ed and I up for a paddling class. He was not thrilled but changed his mind halfway through the three-hour class. (By then I was already being recruited as a future instructor.) Paddling a kayak is more about balance in the seat and foot pressure on the pedals than rowing, in calm water. Rough water is a different experience and it’s in my future plans.

No whales here, but the winds were strong and the water was only calm near shore.

Those first few years, Ed and I loaded the kayaks onto the truck and explored a variety of inland lakes and rivers. We even paddled some coves on the Pacific but once Ed saw a whale surface and realized the marine life was larger than him, and his craft, his salt water days were done. (I never saw him paddle so fast for shore before or since!)

The past few years the kayaks have stayed home on this lake, as two daughters weddings and grandson activities have been enough of an adventure. There’s paddling events as Pine Hollow is a locally known camping and fishing resort.  When we are there, I’m usually on the water before ten in the morning and will paddle the perimeter in about an hour, or crisscross the lake. I may spend more hours on, or in, the water but that early paddle is my morning exercise/meditation.

That’s the peak of Mt. Hood, about 30 miles west.

A 12′ wilderness kayak is a bit bulky for me so, until I get other sizes and shapes to play with, I like to practice different strokes and maneuvering techniques. Sometimes I just float in the shade and admire the view.

The lake shore changes with the seasons as this is a reservoir of snow melt from the Cascades and the top fifteen feet of surface water are used for irrigation on surrounding farms. By the 4th of July, there are wide beaches all around the water. Marshes and small streams appear before they become shallow enough to cross without getting your feet wet. The surface water is warm and cold pockets are rare.

Mt. Jefferson is only visible from a northeast cove in May.

Mt. Jefferson, about 50 miles to the south, is only visible from the lake in the early spring when the water is at the highest level. That’s why I took my camera on board, to get that rare shot of Mt. Jeff.

You may think this lake doesn’t fulfill my desire for rough water, but it does. The lake is open for power boats from the end of May and through the beginning of September. During those months, half of the lake is a churning swirl of waves on the weekends. Other times, like this past Sunday, the winds are strong enough to kick up small white caps across the center of the lake.

And that’s why Ed headed for shore, so I could brave the waves and have spray splashing over the bow for a while. This isn’t white water rapids but you need to be alert and one-with-your-craft-and-paddle to avoid getting too wet.  The weather was very warm and the sun strong, but the winds were 20 knots with higher gusts and the spray was icy cold. I may have laughed my way across the lake, but it was really nice to reach shore.

And sometimes I wonder, was I a Naiad in another life or a turtle?

Summer Weather

Yes, I know that’s a ridiculous title for a blog post on May 3rd – but that’s our forecast for Portland, Oregon this week. 80′s and sunny. Consider that we only saw weather like that in August the past two years…

I’m going kayaking this weekend!

There’s been lots of writing and writer business in my life but none is ready for prime time at the moment…

Lots of busy-ness too. One daughter had 3 wisdom teeth removed and I was her primary caretaker because I not only am an extreme optimist regarding surgical procedures, but I also don’t take videos to post on YouTube.

Ed is on You Tube though – as the test pilot for a newly built airplane. You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn97mad7138

I’m going kayaking this weekend!

Spring Blossoming

Apple Blossom

Oregon Grape flower. Produces tiny blue berries, not for humans.

Flowers, trees and bushes are in bloom around my yard, as are the weeds, and pollen in many colors coats everything. Gentle rains have washed the air clearer, though has made the pollen stick like glue, and I’m a bit more alert today. There are plenty in my family who suffer with allergies to trees, grass, and anything airborne and I’m thrilled not to be one who needs meds just to breathe or see, but I was affected with the drowsies, the drippies, and the pollen mouth.

I finally got a burst of energy this week and was able to catch up on all types of tasks, including email, bills, and most of my writer activities. But alas, the strong spring sunshine through the windows and skylights has revealed I am rather lax on my dusting. Fortunately, it is cloudy today so that task can wait.

Cathy Lamb presented a wonderful workshop last Saturday and I hope it’s a sign of great workshops all year as that’s my job as VP of Programs for the RCRW chapter.  I’m over halfway through Cathy’s latest novel, “A Different Kind Of Normal” and anticipate it will get a 5 star review from me when I’m done. I was tempted by the title and I was sold with the first sentence, “My mother told me all about the witches in our family.” Hm, I’m wondering about this witch theme that is currently influencing my reading.

Aside from the pollen in my environment, and witches in my pleasure reading, I’ve also noticed a few business articles about ”The P’s of Marketing” in the world of books. As I am one of the co-founders of Author Marketing 101, I have an opinion on which “P’s” are the primary ones for published authors to know – Push, Pull, POP, and Persona. Yet others espouse the P’s to know are Publicity, Promotion, Public Relations; or, Product, Platform, Profiles, and Price.

Both are due during the first week of August!

Now all these “P’s” could generate a lot of spit but I’m keeping a perspective on the process of publishing and book purchases because the primary “P” that brings me pleasure is: PREGNANT.

My daughter is expecting a girl for her first baby, my niece is having her second son. This is a special picture as my niece was in Portland for work, and is now back in San Diego, and won’t be traveling until after the baby is old enough to travel as well.

There is only one buried old photo of me and a sister when we were pregnant at the same stage, but we did not have the same glow as these young mothers as it was my third child and her fifth.

As spring blossoms, so does the next generation. There will be projects, and presentations, and parties in the months to come, but I’m wondering if there will also be more witches.

Family and Tribe

Recent activities with both my family and my tribe have been tons of fun and kept me very busy. This is evident in my home and office as there are piles everywhere. It’s as if my personal space reflects the messages of chaos that keep popping up in global news regarding weather, politics, finances, and disasters surrounding relationships within countries or private homes.

But things are not always what they seem. Like this picture of our family at the wedding on 6/21/2011. It looks like feminine overload and those must be some pretty brave men to be in the mix. Yet the ratio is 11 females to 7 males (even though 3 are under the age of 8) and 5 of those women do not live in Oregon.

That bride and groom just moved into their first home this weekend and it is fun for me when a daughter allows me to unleash my cleaning and organizing energy in their life. It’s rare, but weddings and home purchases are those times. Now that stage of my life is complete. They are all grown, own homes, have dynamic lives with their own families.

During this recent chaos, I paused when an email newsletter arrived earlier this month and the words “Family” and “Tribe” caught my attention and kept niggling at me even though it was a week before I read Sara Wiseman’s post about the spring equinox being a time for self realization beyond our family or tribe. I’ve met Sara a few times though have not read her books but that applies to many I’ve met within my “writer tribe.”

Sara’s distinction of “family” being a karmic connection and “tribe” being the chosen family we want to create is not true for me. I do agree that “us” energy is a great way to avoid the internal work of becoming a “self.” Everyone from Oprah to Abraham-Hicks and a lot of religions have a core message of self awareness and soul improvement. But my family is more than karmic connections, they are my choice and part of the “self” I have created.

My tribe is writers and storytellers. The core group are romance novelists which is feminine energy on steroids, representing every hormonal and menopausal phase, gathered in one room for a few hours every month. I do not consider them “the family I want to create” for myself. My tribe is a great distraction and network of support during times of personal and family stress.

Members of my tribe represent “karmic connections” for my self improvement and soul awareness. I understand that words need to be defined to represent concepts that are current for the message to reach an audience. I accept that my perception of family and tribe relates to past years when family was my sisters and our daughters were the tribe.

Even defining “family” as the personal relationships and “tribe” as the public ones has little to do with karmic connections, or inner self work, as all of the above apply.

So while Sara’s message of inner work and separation of the self from the tribe and family is valid, I propose the reverse is true as well.  A healthy relationship with the self is good but then it is a time for self realization within our connections to family and tribe, however they are defined.

Of course, I am a mom of four individual women, and I am part of generations of opinionated women, so I’m never offended if my advice is ignored. And there is a full moon tonight.

And the universe shifts

I had a plan. For that day when I was a published novelist. It was in that distant future. Until then, I was on this journey called life. Life. It’s research for a novelist. It’s the road not taken by humans with a plan.

When I signed the contract to publish my contemporary romance novel – my  universe shifted and I noted the time so my astrologer sister would have accurate data regarding my transition from aspiring to published. The actual published-books-to-sell is months in the future, and I haven’t seen any editorial requirements yet, but I have moved into the inner circle of “Authordom” and am having fun.

The new breed of Digital-First Boutique Publishers has fascinated me as I’ve watched friends begin their careers in this way, so I had lots of inside information regarding business models, contracts, and more. I loved the enthusiasm to publish my novel that I received from the senior editor at Soul Mate Publishing, and it was only six weeks from first contact to signed contract. But I had other choices and even though it “felt right” this is a business decision and I had some reservations as well. Ultimately, it came down to “the books.”

I read many excerpts, of the books in my genre, currently available by a few of these Boutique publishers. Only the SMP books impressed me as ones I want to read. This made it a pleasure to sign a contract. The website could use some improvements but it’s the books that make the difference.

Now that I’m within the author loop, and following the author blogs, I’m both pleased and intimidated. The author news is all about being Top Picks, winning awards, getting 5 Star reviews, and connecting with readers in India. This means my publisher lives up to its marketing of “high quality romantic fiction for readers around the world” and I’m one of these authors who will deliver such.

The intimidating factor is now I am stepping into the starring role of the story of my life. I know I can be professional in spite of negativity and challenges, and I can persevere through rejections. But there’s an invisibility aspect to being an aspiring novelist that does not prepare a writer for getting applause and appreciation from fans, or for earning industry awards. I will soon have to receive compliments and gratitude for my writing and stories – with a gracious spirit – and own the success that I’ve earned.

This wasn’t part of my plan. But now, it’s part of my journey.

Wedding “Oh Shit” Kit

The final flurry commences with the details and decorations for a stress free day.

Anything else needs an errand

“Oh Shit” Contents include:

• Static Guard and Lint Roller
• Bleach Pen and Tacky Glue
• Aspirin and Ibuprofen
• Safety Pins and Sewing Kit
• Band-aids and Breath Strips
• Antacids and Duct Tape
• Eye Drops and Scissors
• Hair Pins and Dental Floss
• Tissues and Q-tips

A new recommendation was to include Hemroid Creme for puffy eyes. Really? Apparently, some swear by it.

Now to get the rest of everything together like clothes, shoes, makeup & hair stuff, extra shoes and hosiery, small clutch purse for necessities to be with me and not in a back room. Camera and phone batteries are charged…

Oh yeah, daddy already practiced walking his baby girl down the aisle.

Maybe I’d better rethink that Hemroid Creme. I just won’t tell him what it is when I dab it on his puffy eyes.

In my experience, the “Oh Shit” kits usually mean none of it will be needed. But then, if any of it is, the panic factor is instantly wiped away and the “issue” will just be a tidbit story on such a special day.

Now I’m going to clean, and pamper, my face then wind down and crawl into bed. The Wedding Day activities begin in a little over twelve hours.

Celebrate 12-1-12!

Celebrate Gratitude

My big brother is in Oregon for the wedding on 12-1-12. My youngest daughter is also his God-Daughter as he was her sponsor at her baptism. And he carved the Turkey for our Thanksgiving Feast. It really was a FEAST and tons of FUN!

I’ve been reminded this week to be grateful for many things, like breathing. Breathing was always an important thing to be thankful for in my life. This makes me very interested in what others feel deserves gratitude in their lives. I love seeing posts about being thankful for family, friends, and good food. Those are good! Health and happiness are also good topics for our gratitude.

But I adore being grateful for more specific things, like that my big brother was in town to carve the turkey – because there’s a wedding to attend.

Here’s two other “be grateful” opportunities that deserve attention:

Rob recently transformed the side yard, around the Hatcher mango tree, so that when I glance out my office windows, I see the tendrils of ivy that cover the ground and shoots of bamboo and lavender clusters of Mexican heather, a private little paradise. Critters scurry around, busy with their lives. Fire ants build great domes of sand, lizards and iguanas and possums feed from the bowl of cat food I leave out for a neighbor’s cat, squirrels feasts on our mangos, our avocados. Birds trill from the branches of the trees. I’m seduced into gratitude. My outer world is the internal made manifest, a faithful reflection of my inner being. Trish MacGregor

Every day I’m amazed that I have the privilege of doing the work I do, and I know that I wouldn’t be able to do it without the combined efforts of literally thousands of people who do more than they have to.  Seth Godin

I’m always grateful for the individual specifics of my life. I give thanks for breathing. I give thanks for who I work with, and what I see through the windows of my home.

Family, friends, health and happiness are treasures worthy of gratitude – every day. I believe gratitude deserves more specific attention because the story of our lives is in the details.

Our lives are full of details, and that’s where the fun resides.

Prep work – Done. Party time to begin.

Today marked the final wedding preparations. The bridal shower is tomorrow afternoon, followed by the bachelorette party.  Family are in town for Thanksgiving and the wedding. There’s the rehearsal dinner but that’s being hosted by the groom’s family and this mother-of-the-bride is ready to party!

Pictures will be posted…

Parallel Lives Lead to Lasting Friendship

In February 2009 I was new to blogging and used the word “synchronicity” in a post. I got a comment from Rob MacGregor that he didn’t see the synchronicity and he wondered why I used that word. He and his wife had recently started a blog on synchronicity because they were writing a book on the topic. Our online relationship has continued and since I was blogging to develop my Author Persona it was influenced by that first contact with Rob & Trish.

Morgan and I were barely acquainted in 2009 when we both attended a workshop on marketing for authors. We both had such a visceral reaction to the presentation we could read the other’s anger from across the room. So we hooked up and decided we’d put together a marketing presentation that was valid. We started meeting monthly and soon presented a short overview of marketing basics to our writing chapter. Attendees (many published authors) were stunned that this was such new information and requested a more in-depth workshop.

As we continued to develop our Author Marketing 101 message we learned the need was great and we should bring a business focus to our workshop so it could be more easily promoted to lots of other chapters and authors. Morgan and I also came to learn we shared a lot of things!

We are both from Cleveland, Ohio and now live in Portland, Oregon because of our professional focus – in the electronics industry. Our approach to business is rooted in the core value of helping others and giving freely. We share an “open hand” approach to life, but we aren’t afraid to close our hand if we feel abused or misused. Both of us were raised in households filled with faith, but also are willing to question and be open to energies and God’s infinite possibilities. Introspective and energy work are critical components of who we are and how we choose to travel through this plane of existence. Our stars complement each other, almost perfectly – kinda scary.

So in March of 2012, Morgan and I have been amazed at how our AM101-Author Persona message is expanding in only a year and has become so fun for us, and beneficial to our author friends. We were at an intimate writer conference in WA and chatting in a parking lot with a literary agent from NJ. She ruffled through the draft of our workbook and stated, “This looks very professional. You two need to build your platform.”

This is so obvious that Morgan and I are stunned. It’s a combination “Aha!”  “Of Course!” AND “How the (expletive) do we do that?” A platform is a Marketing 101 concept required for any professional service business. Our message is that a platform does not apply to Novelists –  they need an Author Persona. But a Platform does apply to us regarding our AM101 message about the Author Persona being the dynamic core of a novelist’s marketing plan.

Morgan and I had created a free blogspot site where we put our 7 primary AM101 points into static pages to reside forever available in cyber space. But we weren’t doing anything with that blog, it was just an electronic handout for our workshop.

But as I was initiating my Author Persona back in 2009, my connection with the MacGregors was because they were blogging to build their platform and write their book. Hence, in May of this year, Morgan and I started blogging 3x a week and that’s when synchronicities seemed to happen every week as we would be inspired for a new post, or recruit a Guest Post. Our workbook will now have better examples and be a greater benefit to authors. We’ll be working on it again after the new year.

Because Morgan and I pay attention to synchronicities beyond the potential for a good parking space, we appreciate being able to see layers of synchronicities that build on each other. And that – to me – is a HUGE deal because though synchronicity is flavored with magic and mystery, it’s also the foundation for what is practical and good business.

And now, our Author Marketing 101 message is just what Trish and Rob need now they are Indie publishing their extensive back list of novels. And I’m thrilled they came to me for advice on their marketing.

When the election is done

My political opinions are always framed in their historical significance so I never get passionate about an election. I pay attention, I research and analyze, I listen and make a decision. Then I vote.

I get Marketing. I also see political campaigns as designed on the “what to fear” and “who’s to blame” strategy.  It’s all about the strongest voice of the tribe and seldom about leadership for humanity.

Politics to me is a climate, as turbulent as Mother Earth, and as predictable as the weather. As individuals we claim ownership over our land and home or property, as we do of our president. Our choices are always framed in what’s best for us, and our families, to live the life we want to live. And as we are a global community of billions with diverse talents/heredity/cultures/preferences/ and dietary or medical needs – what’s good for one is not always good for another.

I also believe in balance and the potential of a happy medium. Those would be the years when there was democratic and global economic progress, and mild weather patterns. Neither of which we’ve seen in our lives or can expect to happen in a way that coordinates with our daily schedules.

History has been documented for thousands of years by those with the time and resources to write it down. History has been reinterpreted and edited for thousands of years by those who teach and for those willing to learn.

Geology and Meteorology are right up there with our Political and Cultural History for what I want to document for my grandchildren. These children are the leaders of tomorrow – on this planet I adore and call home. These children deserve a full toolbox, not a standardized one. The children of today are capable of great innovation and opportunities to play well together. Let’s give them that chance.

It’s not about money. It is about the economy but at a climate level.

So whatever happens this week in These United States, my hope is that we all accept the outcome and then put on our big-girl/big-boy panties and get back to creating a life worth living for ourselves and our communities. This is the climate we live in and it is our individual journey and choices that will always make the biggest difference.

We all have a lot to learn.

One thing I’ve learned is that history is fascinating and open to interpretation.

Art, music, and good stories are as big a deal in history as the science, politics, crop schedules, fashions, migration patterns and natural disasters.

Judgment fades as time passes.

The days between

My shoes for the wedding.

We have heard from all our east coast friends and family.  Most have power and water, all are in safe places and doing fine. Or at least they are putting a positive spin on their days for those of us on the west coast. There is a little concern about a soon-to-be-purchased home that has lots of trees on a steep slope to the Chagrin River in Ohio. No one has been by to look at the property and the buyers are out of town.

We did hear that a mayor in New Jersey postponed Halloween until Sunday. Our eldest daughter got this news from her friend Kelly, who lives in NJ. Since Kelly’s neighborhood was flooded, and without power, no one was planning to send their children out in search of candy handouts. They probably won’t on Sunday either, even if they have power and the waters have receded.

Ed and I didn’t think about it being Halloween when we were at the mall and I got my shoes. Then we watched the movie ARGO which was good, even with the fictional ending. When we came out of that matinee viewing, the mall was full of costumed children and their families.

I had planned to shop for my mother-of-the-bride-wedding shoes before the conference last weekend but I had a bee sting my foot and my focus changed. I guess I needed to spend the days prior to those exciting days resting and soaking my foot to reduce the swelling. This process became more effective once I got the stinger out after almost 24 hours.

So I returned from the conference and may have overdone the fun a bit. I tucked right into proofing a manuscript I haven’t looked at in months. There were a few typos and I was wondering about some stylistic elements by the time I got to chapter eight, and realized those scenes were a mess. But my throat was scratchy and my eyes were dry and burning so I took a break the next day for shoe shopping and a movie.

The heals a bit higher than I wanted. There’s a little rubber on the bottom so they aren’t too slippery. But… They are just too perfect to pass. I’ll be taking them for a dancing test on Sunday. Unfortunately I spent yesterday and today suffering with the common cold/mild flu. Not sure what to call it. Illness has a very different feel when you work from home instead of medicating it to get to the office.

So again, I have to accept the sitting around and resting aspects of my days as dictated by my physical condition at this time. One grandson turns ten next week, the following week will be focused on a bridal shower. Then there’s the rehearsal dinner, out-of-town-guests arriving, and our youngest daughter’s wedding. Wee Hee!

Thanksgiving Dinner, the Christmas Holidays, and a New Year are approaching.   There are over a dozen books that I want to read – right now. There are three books I am writing that I want completed – right now. My friends and family will assure that when I have a clear goal in my mind that I want it achieved, yesterday.

The days between an objective and an achieved goal are always my challenge.

I get it now. I think. Maybe not.

There’s also an election. I already voted so won’t pay much attention until the results are announced.

Letting stories percolate

Even the clouds are going in all different directions.

Piles of mail and papers on the dining table and kitchen counter have been shuffled around this past month, until now. I found a print out of the mundane astrological forecast for Taurus during September. I obviously printed this at the beginning of the month and never read them. Now I’ve read what was forecast by the stars in relation to the events. There’s been a lot!

My father-in-law passing at 11:55pm on 9/6, followed by 9 days in Ohio for the funeral and trysting with my past.

On our return to Oregon a massive landscaping project began, it was delayed because we were in Ohio, of clearing years of overgrowth to be replaced with Zen gardens.

Last week, my partner Morgan and I have taken another big leap forward in our Author Marketing 101 business. And we are presenting at a conference at the end of this month.

I waited a week to hear the status of my friend Mike’s’ kidney surgery, while lighting candles for him.

Also in September there were details with one daughter’s mortgage, our grandsons new school schedule, and The First Dinner Party in our soon to be newlyweds First Home. These are Big Life Events and cause for celebration.

That’s a lot in one month. The final days of September we took another trip with the grandsons to our weekend place. The kayaks are now stored for the winter, the camper has been cleared out, and I brought home all kinds of things to use for the bridal shower next month.

Since I understand a little about astrology, it was fascinating to read the mundane aspects for a Taurus during September, on October 1st. There were a lot of of stellar energies and they lined up nicely with events I experienced. The interpretations of how these energies may impact my days didn’t apply, but that’s because the stars are telling a general story that pertains to every Taurus, and we are all individual stories.

This month reminded me of the percolating coffee pot my dad put on the stove every morning. The hot water from the bottom of the glass pot shot up through a glass straw to hit the lid, and splatter across the coffee grounds. The heat had to be just right to percolate, and not boil over, for that breakfast coffee.

I learned some things this month, big things, simple but profound truths. And now I feel it’s time for me to finally sit back with a great cup of coffee and finish the story I have already written. There’s a new story to begin.

Bricks and boxes

Don’t close the door!

During our trip to Cleveland, Ohio, Ed and I had time time to visit with cousins and friends where they work. The most memorable, and very outside of our normal experience, was getting a tour of a city jail. Ed’s cousin has been a correctional officer long enough to know many of the “regulars” and sadly has “booked” some of their sons. Personally, I can’t imagine how anyone who’s had the opportunity to spend time in a jail would not make every effort to never go there again. It stinks, it’s cold and square, and so – yuck! Yet, to the inmates being inside a brick box is – just what it is.

The female block has been closed for a few years and is now used for storage so it really wasn’t a big deal for me to see a real cell. The sink and toilet are a single unit and the “desk” is two pieces of metal attached to the bricks at the right height. The cell I am in has two bunks (you can see the flaps from boxes stacked on the bunks)  so that’s shared space. Posing for a picture in that space, with the door open, was long enough for me!

Imagine two women, with attitude, coexisting in that confinement? Our girls had bigger bedrooms all to themselves.

This trip was also the first time in thirty years Ed and I took the time to drive around our home town, and even tour the high school where he attended. Most of my best high school memories are also grounded in that school as I was active in their musical performances, attended all the football games, and dated a few of his classmates.

What we didn’t remember, and only noticed on this tour down memory lane, is there are a lot of square brick buildings and houses. 4×6 red bricks must have been the most available building material and the most reliable for the harsh winters around the shores of Lake Erie.

The most fascinating thing to me was the realization that so many people with whom I’ve had slim, to none, personal contact with during these past 30 years talked to me as if we have known each other forever. While it’s nice to feel a family bond with so many, the reality for me is these people were only tangibly connected with my life for four years.

Ed and I met in college in 1978, we were married in 1980, and had two baby girls before we moved to New Jersey in 1982. Yet on the basis of activities and family events during those four years, I’m still one of their tribe. It’s a cozy feeling as they are all, at heart, good people. But I realized that there were a lot of stories, histories, and relationship issues, that I didn’t really have a clue about thirty years ago. And now I have even less of a clue.

Memories are fascinating. We got to chat with three of Ed’s aunts. I never had a private conversation with any of them, nor had I ever been in their homes. All three of them presented entirely different views and stories of what could easily be referred to as the same event. That was a stellar lesson about point-of-view.

As I’ve been mulling over this rather illuminating trip into my family past, the most amusing tidbit,that keeps popping up every time I try to contemplate all I’ve experienced this month, is this:

Ed’s cousins, who I spent the most time with during those four years, thirty years ago, had a debate about whether I was a redhead in college. That’s not what they remembered about me.

Steeped in memories

The view of Lake Erie from Hospice House of the Western Reserve in Cleveland, Ohio

There are times in our lives when we really have no choice but to pause. We can fight our way back to our routine and pretend it all didn’t happen but eventually we will crash and burn. So what’s the point of doing it that way, pausing is a good thing. Events happen for a reason. Life is full of causes and choices and each event carries its own level of significance.

Last week I was in Cleveland for my father-in-law’s funeral and I was not only reminded of the history of my life, during the past 32 years as a member of his family, but I was also reminded of the history of his life. The truth is, neither of us really had a huge impact on the other. That may have been different if we had lived in the same neighborhood, or state, but we didn’t. We were connected but separated by over 400 miles for half of our relationship and 2,500 for these past 15 years.

Our lives influenced each other on many levels but we were sort of like a good book we would each pick up and reread once every year or two. In my life – a good book is huge – and worth rereading because every time I would learn something new and appreciate the story more. That’s how I feel about my father-in-law, every time we got a chance to sit down together I learned something new and appreciated his influence in my life at a deeper level. There just weren’t many opportunities to be together as we were separated by hundreds of miles and we were both involved in our own lives.

It’s sad, for me, to know there was a really good man, a really good story, that was unfolding during my life and was a part of my life, but it was outside of my life. My father-in-law’s life was centered in Ohio with historical connections to Slovenia. I lived in New Jersey and now with my family in Oregon. Our lives developed in different states and were separated by more than miles.

My Irish emigration story is generations old, his is recent with refugee camps, a war, and more horrors than a potato famine. The connection is poignant. My father-in-law may only have been in Hospice House, on the shores of Lake Erie, for a few hours at the end of his life but my mom was there for two years and two months before they kicked her out because she hadn’t died yet.

And here I am – once again - reassessing how to best use my time and life on Mother Earth, while dealing with jet-lag. I really hate to travel on jets across time zones. I prefer to travel through time and space in my own home with a good story.

I learned a lot of good stories from my father-in-law.

It’s all about balance

My first son-in-law, Dusty came into my life during the early stages of my loss phase. That’s him in the picture, a few weeks ago, at the painting party for the fixer-up home of our soon-to-be-newlyweds.

When Dusty began hanging around our family, my parents and all the animals in my life were still alive and two daughters were still living in my home.

Looking back I can see how huge an asset Dusty was for all five of us women in the family.

The primary man in our lives until then was Ed, an alpha leader with a lot of beta creativity and humor. (How else would he have survived FIVE women in his home?)  Dusty is more a beta male with alpha abilities. Both of these character types make great romantic heroes in a story, especially when tall, toned, and with dark hair. However, Ed had been in a severe car accident two years earlier and had left all his beta character traits behind at the scene of the crash. An injured alpha male on pain meds is not very fun to hug.

Dusty was this gentle, yet charismatic, male energy we all needed the summer when my parents died in 2005, and the following winter when Ed had corrective surgery. Women need comforting hugs from a good man during such times and Dusty gives great hugs. He dug the grave and buried our family dog that spring of 2006. He was interested-in-the-history-as-a-new-family-member when we visited my parents graves for the first time. We were in Ohio for my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary.

Dusty was this calm and pleasant beacon of light in our family during stormy weather. Dusty was a romantic hero for five women during a time when that’s exactly what we needed. The wedding, in August of 2006, that officially brought Dusty into our family – was awesome. It wasn’t nice that two weeks after the honeymoon we got news that Dusty had aggressive lymphoma and could die.

Six years later we are thrilled that Dusty is still cancer free and doing fine. That he can perch on counter ledges to paint a ceiling is beyond awesome.

My personal message to the other son-in-laws in my life: Please don’t attempt to live up to who Dusty was for us. We don’t want to go there and, trust me, neither do you. The women in the family are content with Dusty’s awesomeness. Bring us your own – you’ve already got it or you wouldn’t be in the family pictures.

Dusty is thrilled to have good men, brothers, in our family, so you can share the blame for what us women may decide to do…

Wild Times

Sunflower in Dufur

A few months ago, a young man commented that:

women writers will stop writing because of a family issue or something, and aren’t dependable, so we need a bigger pool of talent to draw from …

I don’t remember his actual words because I was trying not to laugh hysterically. I am one of those women writers who has never stopped writing. However, when life is more turbulent than words on a page could explain I avoid writing in public venues. Venting, regurgitated tripe, and emotional purging is not good writing.

This past month has been full of “Hold on to your hat on this roller coaster called life” events. I also know it’s not just my life as more than one friend, my girls and sisters, have all lamented the same dousing of crazy sauce.

This latest roller coaster ride has been exhausting but also tons of fun as it included lots of grandson related activities. The final event was attending the Theshing Bee in Dufur, OR.  I love tiny historic towns and their remembrance events. Our 9-yr-old grandson is already too tall to fit the clothes and beds used 100 years ago, and my own hand is too big for the fancy shoes the ladies wore. But these were worn by the creative workers who advanced farming techniques and now we live in a country where 1/3 of the population is obese.

One of the attractions at the Threshing Bee is the free “train” tour around the town of Dufur. Our grandson was not enticed to climb into the decorated 55-gallon drums on wheels the first time he saw the train. Later, when it passed us by while we were walking in the hot sun, he noticed there were lots of older kids and adults enjoying the ride. So he took a seat on the next tour.

I wanted to initiate more exercise into my days and boy-howdy, I’ve gotten exercise.

I’m getting back into my writing routine again, and hope to read a book soon. I’ve got a stack on my pile, but I’m also trying to recover from too much sunshine. I wimp out with headaches and touches of nausea.  I’ll blame the extra activity for being unable to recover from the heat with nothing more than a bag of Fritos. But age may be a factor too.

Fortunately I read a good article today that was a reminder of how important it is to “protect the girl who loves to write for fun.” I’ve had a lot of fun but it was as a grandma, wife, mom, and not as that girl. And that’s why women writers, in my opinion, will stop writing for a time. We have to shift into being women and do our duty for love sometimes. Then the writing becomes our work, instead of our passion.

It’s not the family or issue that make us stop writing it’s getting too busy, and focused, and forgetting to have fun as that girl.

From sea to the high planes

Seaside, OR

We planned to take our 9-yr-old grandson to Seaside for a few days but instead added the 3-yr-old grandson into our plans as he will be starting preschool this week.

A drama within their home ended a lifestyle that seemed like a good thing for most of the past eighteen months. But it was getting old. The abrupt conclusion soon revealed a new daily routine for these boys and their mom was long overdue.

I’m thrilled about the sudden changes in their home life. But with young boys, and a single mom, even beneficial lifestyle changes need adjustment time.

I was happy to help with their lifestyle transition though it required a whole week of twelve hour (or more!) days with my grandsons. My intent at this new moon was to add physical exercise to my daily routine. This instantly manifested and I was amazed at how physically active I could be, non-stop-all-day, even exhausted and stiff. When there’s a 3-yr-old involved, resting is not an option.

Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach

Week two of grandson  childcare began with our vacation at the coast. This adventure was more relaxed for Ed and I, while full of adventure for the boys. Hotel rooms are not as big a deal to us and the view out the window was nice, but we’re not as into jumping from bed to bed in a hotel room as boys. Ed was more into the Funland Arcade, and I was more into riding the Carousel.

We knew the tide schedule and arrived at Haystack Rock on Tuesday when all the tide pools were ready to be explored. Last year Ed and I took our-then 8-yr-old grandson to Newport for a few days and the Oregon Aquarium was included. This year he got to explore the real deal and his memories were as dear as his current adventure.

We checked out of the hotel on Wednesday morning and paused to regroup at our home, two hours from the coast, to prepare for the next phase of the week. Soon we were off to our weekend place east of the Cascades and the boys were thrilled when Ed decided a remote control airplane would be the project for those days.

Inland lakes on the edge of the desert have a whole different flavor than the wild Oregon coast.

But beach time is beach time to a boy and where it is – is less of a deal than that it is…

Two weeks of devoted grandparent attention is not as big a deal in my life as it will be for them.

Or – maybe it’s bigger….

The Great Apple Abundance

Ed’s solution to keep the boughs from breaking and give the apples the opportunity to ripen, as long as we don’t have a strong wind…

The apple tree in our yard has never produced more than a few dozen apples the deer have enjoyed – not so this year.

Pele the cat inspecting what she usually has to climb the tree to sniff.

The tree was old and gnarled when we moved in fifteen years ago so we assumed it was past bearing fruit.

About five years ago we had most of the trees on our property trimmed and we were aghast at how severely the apple tree was pruned.

Three buckets of these baby apples were tossed in the far corners of our yard as they attract bees.

We were sure that pruning had finally killed the tree and we researched using the apple wood for summer barbecues.

This year there were tons of blossoms and we noticed all the really tall branches. Its surrounded by tall trees and  we really didn’t notice the height of the thin branches from the hefty trunk until they were covered in flower. It was pretty but we weren’t concerned. The tree had never produced more than a few dozen apples in 15 years.

We have no idea what type of apples they are, or if they will be worth eating as previously they only were enjoyed by deer.

We won’t know the next stage of this adventure for a few weeks, but we’ve notified all our girls to be ready with bushels and recipes.

Maybe this is the year for us to visit Leavenworth, WA in the end of September.

We love this Bavarian Town but we have never attended the Apple Festivals.