I do my best not to give advice because I know advice is wholly based on the experience of the adviser and doesn’t always translate well to the receiver.  My daughters will laugh at that because I’m full of advice and will toss it out with little encouragement.

When I see the word ADVICE – I see AD and VICE. So it was interesting to get a message from a young man seeking my advice. Whether I see the AD as an acronym for “advertisement” or “addition” will vary according to the VICE in question.

I’m often approached for advice and do my best to do a whole lot of listening before I speak. It is in the listening that an adviser will get a clue about what the querant really wants to hear. What my daughters didn’t notice is that prior to offering my advice I’d gotten an ear full, maybe for weeks, of the advice they wanted to hear.  All I gave them was what they already knew in a blunt statement but they had the bonus of blaming my advice for their choice.

When my advice is sought I try to focus on my role as AD VISOR and a VISOR is a protective shield from damaging brilliance.

4 thoughts on “advice

  1. Interesting. Many, many years ago a wiser, older man asked me if I wanted some advice. I answered, ‘Yes.’ The advice he offered was to always listen to advice – even if you already have the answer to whatever the issue may be. He reasoning was that you never know if the other person may just have something you might not have realised. And if he/she hasn’t, you just forget whatever it is that was offered.


    1. A few years ago I made a choice not to attend an event then had people whose opinion I respect tell me I should attend. It was the repetition of the word “should” that made me change my mind. So I decided if I was going to spend the money and take the trip I’d make it as fun as possible and even bought a new dress for the event.

      I was really surprised at how important my attendance was, and the ripples of what I learned about our personal connections in family has continued to delight and enlighten me. There was no huge insight but instead a weekend full of tiny sparkles that I may never have learned if I didn’t do what I “should” instead of what I thought was my best choice.


  2. LOL
    I avoid giving advice as it could lead to problems. If the person you give it to follows it and things work out poorly, they will blame you and a friendship would be destroyed. I prefer to listen, hug and offer to be there for someone. Sometimes that is all someone needs.


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