I’m at the stage in my romance story where the heroine has to point out why she can never be friends with the hero. This should be really easy, we all know what it means when we say the word friend. Except I found there were no interesting words showing up on the page of my story.
As I in my stories, there’s usually something mirrored in my own life. Like a friend who is taking the job of her dreams but it will also take her to the other side of the country. I’m also establishing new friendships in my life specific to my career as a writer. Within the busyness of my life I didn’t feel the need to research “friends” yet the information started to show up anyhow.
Michael Hyatt posted Be The Friend You Wish You Had so I printed out his list on being a close personal friend as, yeah, cool information. But I set it aside because I was busy with projects. I had email from family that required my attention, a friend stopped by to ask for assistance, etc. etc. 🙂
Here’s the four characteristics that I received and gave in one day from my friends and family:
- Affirms me when I doubt myself.
- Reminds me of who I am, when I forget.
- Celebrates my wins and mourns my losses.
- Remembers the things that are important to me.
So I’m feeling warm and fuzzy with virtual hugs in my own life and can now work on the scene where my heroine has very clear points to make as to why she can never be friends with the hero. Then I’ll have even more fun messing with their minds and hearts as I turn them into friends and lovers.
For an author to play god we need to truly believe what our characters will achieve. Otherwise we’re just creators of misery as we stir conflict and drama into the lives of our characters as they are stripped of ego to become open to dreams.
Friends are also the mirror of who we need to be for ourselves.