Distracted by research

This research excuse for “not writing” is usually heard from historical and paranormal writers as they delve into their world building. I always felt there was enough in the here and now to fulfill my stories and all I needed to worry about was plot and character.

I’ve been absent from blogging here because of beautiful weather, places to go, things to do, stories to read, wood to stack in preparation of the winter months, and new adjustments to my writing schedule. My routine is being challenged by constantly shifting to new locations and grabbing a few hours of computer time because I’m totally not plugged in to all the wi-fi apps and such.  But the primary research distracting me from posting to this blog is – I’ve been exploring new homes of our friends and family.

Our youngest daughter got the keys for her new-first-home yesterday. It needs some work as it was vacant for almost a year, but they are young and have all types of resources to get it awesome in the next few weeks before they move in.   The bonus is the location and that a sister and a friend are within walking distance. Barely an hour after she pulled the for sale sign from the front yard this friend, and new puppy who are also new to the neighborhood, stopped in for the dogs to have their first meet and greet, which was a success.

Only two weeks earlier, I walked through one of my friends new home. She’s at the other end of the age spectrum and has designed her new home specifically for her retirement lifestyle and passion for quilting.

Since my primary writing is contemporary romance novels, and memoir, anything regarding home and relationships is research. I have become fascinated by all the variations of what “Home is Where the Heart Is” means to others, as well as myself. Young families are moving into urban settings so they don’t have the weekend yard work routine, others totally want that suburban setting of sidewalks and street parties.

Ed and I, at the youngest edge of the Baby Boomer generation, are watching friends building new homes and lifestyles in their sixties while anticipating decades of activities and no stairs in their homes. Ed and I are also exploring how we are able to work at our daughter’s home while watching our grandsons, or at my sister’s downtown condo, with a better internet connection and cell coverage than we have at our current home.

For decades I have designed my life around promoting the well being of my family. For me this has meant creating a home that was safe and nurturing for everyone in the family to become who they aspire to be. I’m aware that this is not how others see their homes. This has created a problem for me recently because our girls are settled in their own aspirations of being who they are. I, on the other hand, am suddenly only focused on aspiring to be me.

There are all kinds of life activities in my daughters lives that could claim my attention and be wonderful ways to fulfill my time and energy for the rest of my life. It’s strange to realize I don’t have to aspire to be – anything. I could just “BE” and that would totally awesome and more than many on this planet will ever achieve. But even writing that sentence made me laugh.

There have been many occasions for me to pause and reassess who the hell – I AM. These life/lifestyle opportunities were usually at the point of a big transition, and there have been many. A few months of turbulence included wallowing in memories prior to accepting the choices I made that have brought me to today.

The “What If?” and “If only…” are questions I reserve for my fiction.

The only thing I can change about the experiences of my life is my point of view. And now I know that can change depending on my age. My point of view on who I aspire to be today is different now than it was a decade ago. I will have a different point of view about who I am, and who I aspire to be, a decade from now.

Today is what matters. For now, I aspire to be a gypsy who wakes up each day with a sense of wonder for the adventure of the day.

My business is helping authors understand the basics of how to market themselves. My goals are to live each day in a happy place. My dreams are to write stories that enhance readers lives. I’ve already achieved more than many aspire to BE.

And my research has revealed that it is even more important for me to aspire to be more than I AM – while being totally content and fulfilled with Who I Am. Yep, that’s the ticket. Have fun with that, I’m still trying to figure it out. Please post your answers, I can use all the help I can get…

One thought on “Distracted by research

  1. Rose

    Designing a home for a lifestyle…I guess almost any home could be tweaked to fit someones lifestyle. I think that may also be re-purposing! If I could I would want to have a room for crafting projects–a long table to lay things out, a well-organized storage area, labeled so I could find all that I need, and good lighting. For my writing, I would have one little corner of my bedroom set up with a desk, a small organized area with printer, scanner and paper, my computer, and a very comfortable chair.
    As to what I aspire to BE…first and foremost would be independence. This means being financially stable. Unfortunately I am far from that. My whole life is a series of earthquakes, and I am constantly waiting for the next one. I keep thinking “if only I had got an education when I was young; if only I had always set some money aside in my own account through the 37 yrs. of marriage; if only my husband had not become ill…”
    But you cannot change what was, so I need to concentrate on the here and now. I avoid concentrating on a future as it seems so impossible to predict or prepare for.
    What would I aspire to be? Free and happy.


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