Be Vulnerable

This TED.com blog title caught my attention this evening:

Being vulnerable about vulnerability.

This is my first introduction to Brené Brown and I read the interview first, watched the latest video, then watched the first one from last year.  These are entertaining 20 minute talks that I want to share. So here’s how her story progressed, in the correct sequence:

2010: The power of vulnerability

… there’s not a (TED) talk I’ve seen where people really touch lives and made a huge difference where they were not excruciatingly vulnerable.

(Speakers admit to numerous failures prior to success and will focus on the struggle as being necessary for the achievement.)

2011: Listening to shame

… what I realized over the last year is, if you don’t understand shame and you don’t have some shame resilience and awareness, then you cannot be vulnerable.

2012: Q & A with Brene Brown (the interview that caught my attention)

(Here’s just one poignant quote relating to the practice of how we are judged from grades in school to job performance and more. )

Are people engaged? Are people engaged parents, engaged employees, engaged leaders?

And I don’t think engagement can happen without vulnerability, and I definitely don’t think it can happen in the midst of shame. If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.

Brené Brown has received a lot of criticism since her first talk but it’s helped her increase her own understanding of her topic. As she stated in the first video in 2010 one way we numb our vulnerability is “we make the uncertain CERTAIN….I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up.”

Earlier today I read How To Handle A Scathing Review by Kristina McMorris.  The internet and social media is a wonderful thing but it has also empowered the hateful, who are certain they are right and the author should shut up. This encourages others to step forth with tips and tools for improving the experience of public connections.

While this post may seem like a downer of negativity, I feel it’s a very positive example of change. Science is now measuring how courage and vulnerability are emotional tools for becoming whole hearted, and this is the birth place of joy, love, creativity, and innovation. By understanding shame we can develop resilience and tools to dilute the grasp for power from hateful trolls who are certain of being right.

Each generation is hard wired for struggle and is wholly worthy of love, joy, and connection. As humans have evolved through history we have always created the tools we need to help us on that journey.

About Terri Patrick
Writer of Romance and Memoir. Life is an adventure, take that journey.

6 Responses to Be Vulnerable

  1. Jamie Brazil says:

    I’ve been a TED fan forever. Great info!

    Like this

  2. Trish says:

    Great information ad post. Hmm, scathing reviews. I figure if you can’t say something nice about a book, why write anything about it at all?

    Like this

  3. Thanks for the links. Vulnerability is part of all our lives.

    Like this

  4. Jenny Hansen says:

    Thanks for the link to Kristina’s post on Writers In The Storm, Terri! We appreciate it. :-)

    Like this

  5. Isn’t an interesting thing? We have to be vulnerable, but also develop a tough skin to ignore scathing book reviewers.

    Like this

  6. Pingback: The difference of a decade « Terri Patrick's Blog

Thanks for your comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: